Posted on April 8, 2009
Filed Under family news | 1 Comment
Some of you have been following our visa process for the past few years. Yesterday we were told that we have been refused the visa. I’m devastated and I’m not really sure what happens next. We have 60 days to appeal the decision, which we will do, after that who knows?
We’ve been turned down on medical reasons as my son has borderline Aspergers. They deem that he will cost the Canadian health care system too much money. I’m shocked at this as he cost the UK health system next to nothing. He receives no therapies, has not seen our family doctor in over three years for any form of medical condition related or unrelated to Aspergers. He is also home educated, but when he was in school he just received fifteen minutes of one to one time three times a week.
We haven’t told the kids why we’ve been turned down. We don’t want them to know. We’ve just said that CIC are not sure Daddy earns enough money.
I feel so numb today. I woke up at 3.30am this morning and have pretty much been awake since. In our appeal we have to prove that we have the finances to support our son. We do have them, the consequence for us in proving this will be that we will have to rent a home and not buy one as most of our saved money will have to go into a trust fund for his education. It seems they are not happy with home ed, so we’ll have to seek out a private school where it won’t cost the state money. I don’t even know if that will make them happy though.
We are so convinced that God has called us to Canada that we are willing to do this. I could right five or six really long blog posts about all of the things which we believe God has said to us about Canada. I was so positive we were going to get this. Convinced.
Where is God when it hurts so much that you don’t know what to do with yourself. I look like I’ve been punched in both eyes I’ve been crying that much. Maybe he’s carrying me. I’m questioning myself now. Did we hear God? Have we got this all wrong and spent four years going up the wrong path? I don’t think so, but I’m not sure. Maybe our understanding of how we hear God is wrong and he doesn’t talk to us as we thought? I don’t know right now. Why would God call us somewhere he knew we would never get to?
I can’t help wondering if we’ve wasted these past four years? If we made a wrong turn somewhere? Maybe we missed the boat and should have gone by faith? That seemed wrong to us though, to go to a country on a visitors visa knowing we had no intention to leave. We’ve been honest all the way through. We could have kept quiet about our sons Aspergers as he is so borderline that most people comment to us that he seems “so normal”. We knew we had to tell the truth though. It seems yet again that those who lie and cheat are the only ones who get anywhere in this life. Maybe there is something extra special waiting for us in heaven.
We have taking such a step of faith in trying to go to Canada. We’ve been so open with everyone about God’s leading. We’ve openly told members of our family who aren’t Christians about how God has been leading us. Who knows what they must think now.
There have been others we know who I think probably didn’t believe us. Whenever we would mention our visa process they would almost belittle us by saying “Oh yes, the Canada thing” like they think God only calls people to Africa, India, South America etc, but not to somewhere like Canada. I don’t even want to see those people right now.
We received our main calling to Canada on Easter Sunday some years back. We have always felt that Easter would be a significant time in this process. I didn’t realize that it would be a crucifixion feeling rather than a resurrection.
I just can’t describe the pain at them moment. Thank you to those of you who have prayed for us. I wish I could share more joyful news. Please pray that our appeal gets accepted. May I have more joyful news to share in the future.
For the past twenty four hours I’ve been singing these words over and over again (they come from the song Before Creations Time (Breathe) by Andy Smith). They are simply my prayer right now:
You turned my ashes into beauty
Turned my sorrow into joy;
Breathe life, breathe life
You take these dry bones
Make them stand
Put a promise in my hand
Breathe life, breathe life
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